© accioloki
posted 5 hours ago | via | © | 174488


so one time when i was in 8th grade my school went on a camping trip at this camp and at night we all went around the campfire and told stories

and one of the instructors pointed up at the hill where a bunch of deer had gathered. he explained that baby deer make certain noises to call their mothers over. he said if we were really quiet we could hear them

suddenly this huge black guy came out from the forest and yelled YO MAMA WHERE YOU AT

posted 5 hours ago | via | © | 9048


i found a temporary tattoo of some guy’s face in my basement so without even questioning it i put it on

posted 5 hours ago | via | © | 24921


 #dean #your face

posted 5 hours ago | via | © | 33160


are these fall out boy songs

posted 6 hours ago | via | © | 189835



I weep bcause I think I hardly ever read anything funnier


posted 6 hours ago | via | | 446998


how dumb is it that we’ve created words we arent supposed to use

posted 6 hours ago | via | © | 93268


today papa john’s called my starbucks and they were like “are u guys interested in a trade” and five frappuccinos later they gave us two large pizzas and a large order of cheesy bread

posted 6 hours ago | via | © | 87514


I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

posted 6 hours ago | via | © | 401365





‘got herself pregnant’ is the dumbest phrase in the world like forreal if it was possible to get pregnant by ourselves we’d have eaten all the men long ago

it actually is possible to get pregnant (without the sperm of a man whatsoever) using bone marrow from another woman! a child conceived this way can only be female so actually, men are entirely useless. fun fact

let’s begin the feast (✿)


posted 6 hours ago | via | © | 823


but can we talk about how sam taught castiel how to hug and how castiel gave gabriel a proper hug beacuse I feel like we should talk about it.